Pretty awesome transvestite and bikini wax

Yesterday I saw a pretty awesome transvestite. He looked kinda like Larry Bird with a wig, and some hastily-applied makeup. No, rather more like if Garry Shandling and Larry Bird had a child, who then decided to put on a wig and makeup. Anyway, he didn't look much like a woman. Now as a general rule, if you're going to step out, do us all a favor and spend the extra 5 minutes on your makeup -- and make sure your wig is on straight, ok? Christ.

Also, I've got a question for the ladies. When I was walking past this salon on my block that does waxing and stuff, I noticed a woman kinda limping down the stairs. Does getting a bikini wax ever hurt so much that it makes you limp? This girl was walking like she just rode a horse across America -- which could have been for a variety of reasons -- but my powers of deductive reasoning said "it was the waxing." I have no intention of getting my burls waxed in the near future, so you are my only hope for answers. Seriously, get back to me on that one.